I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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