And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
