How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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