If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
