yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
