carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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