Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
