I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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