Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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