I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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