Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
