why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
