Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i was born a porn star she said
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
