Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
