I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
