It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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