i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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