This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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