Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it's like heaven, but drunker
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
