he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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