i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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