That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Rumble strips road head = magical
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
