we made out on top of his cat.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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