I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The air taste purple.
Randomize
