Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
