omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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