first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize