I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
splinters make it hard to masturbate
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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