you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
