I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
