I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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