That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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