shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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