I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
