I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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