fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
