One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
