Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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