she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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