No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
