Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
