Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
