I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
