If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Terrible idea I love it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
