what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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