I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
