So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
