and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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