So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
