just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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