i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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