Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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