Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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