Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
