i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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