Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
