Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
