there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
