weddingsv make me drug and hornr
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Randomize
