My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
