im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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